Shop Til You Drop

I've always been quite proud of my shopping abilities.  Spent years perfecting the practice.  From full on retail purchases at those "boutiques that shall not be named", to penny purchases with a double coupon at a discount dive, to elbows flying at "the biggest sale of the season" at Macy's, I've done it all.  In fact, one of the activities I looked forward to in Vienna was the shopping.  Never mind the fact that I am unemployed at the moment, I saved some cash and I'm ready to spend.  Except for grocery shopping.  Fact is, I've lost what little mojo I had.

Let me explain.

What should be easier than buying some groceries?  Strolling the aisles, comparing prices, discovering recipe ingredients and how best to cheat on the diet.  Well, I've come to discover grocery shopping in Vienna is a full on contact sport and it drains the life out of me. every. single. time.

Navigating the postage stamp of our grocery store, InterSpar, is like an episode of Wipe Out.  Have you ever seen Wipe Out?  Contestants run an obstacle course, which is intent on kicking their ass.  Literally.  That is what buying groceries is like in my neighborhood.

There are ground rules.  For the record:  I have broken these rules and have been adequately shamed into correcting my behavior.  In fact, nowadays, the checkers at the registers all duck and look away when they see me coming.  Perhaps they have tired of "educating" me.

RULES:

1.  You will pay to use a shopping cart.  If you are lucky, someone will take pity on you and show you how to do this, instead of letting you stand there like a dork while pulling on a bunch of locked carts.  The money is returned when you return the cart.

Locked Up For Your Shopping Convenience.

2.  Produce is not weighed and priced at the cash register.  ALL shoppers (yes, YOU) will be sent back to the produce section to properly weigh and print your pricing sticker at the ONE "convenient" weigh station.  Good luck if you don't know the German names for produce.  Pray that there are no other shoppers giving you death stares as you try to figure out onion is zwiebel.

3.  You will not be forgiven for taking too much time at check out.  By anyone.  The checkers at the grocery are actually former members of the Austrian Olympic Fast Pitch Softball team.  Their ability to throw your groceries down the conveyor and demand payment before you have finished putting the last yogurt on the belt is truly astounding.  In fact, once your last food item is pitched at you, the next shopper occupies your space.  Even if you are still in it.

4.  You are the grocery bagger.  After having food items fast pitched through the check out, you are solely responsible for paying and getting the hell out of the way.  One item or 50, you have exactly 3.6 seconds to move into the bagging station before the next shopper's groceries are tossed at you.  Oh, forgot to mention, grocery bags are not provided.  Unless you pay for them. 

Obviously an American Taking Up Bagging Space.

I briefly considered looking into grocery shopping psychotherapy, until I chatted up other expats and discovered I am not alone.  These kind souls shared their coping strategies with me and I've developed a couple of my own.


RULES FOR POSITIVE MENTAL HEALTH WHILE GROCERY SHOPPING:

1.  Have a plan.  Gone are the days of pondering grocery items.  Someone will surely step into your line of sight at the shelf.  I have my list and google translate ready to go.

2.  Stand your ground.  I strategically place my grocery cart to keep others from pushing me out before I am ready to move on.  Now, I won't be leaving food items behind simply because the checker and next shopper have decided I've over stayed my welcome.  I also buy more time by using large bills to pay.  The checker needs more time to count the change.

3.  Drink wine and eat chocolate.  Before and after grocery shopping.

4.  Smile.  Following Rule 3 makes this possible.

Two brief highlights.

I bent over at the bagging station (another broken rule) and knocked over a tall stack of carts.  The loud crash resulted in the store grinding to a halt while checkers and shoppers stared, frowned, and shook their heads with disapproval.  Laughing, I snapped a photo and picked up the carts, except for the ones that crossed the "No Entry" zone.  Alarms sound if you do that.  Don't ask how I know this.

"Baby Got Back"  and Knocked Over the Carts.

A woman ahead of me completed her check out and accidentally left an item behind.  After much consternation, the checker lady was going to make her head back to the end of the line to pay for it.  When I added it to my haul, yet another rule was broken and both women were truly surprised.  Random acts of kindness are possible at the grocery.

Made it Home.  It is 10am.  Now What?  Wine and Chocolate.

Perhaps alternating grocery shopping with a dip into "those boutiques that shall not be named",....what the zwiebel, I'm naming names......Prada, Hermes or Louis Vuitton, will help me get my groove back.  It is certainly worth a try.

The Antiques Diva and Me

It has been a while since my last post, sorry dear readers, we've been on a steep learning curve when it comes to life in Vienna PLUS we've been enjoying a visit from dear friends from Arizona.

As I've mentioned here before, a long time interest in other people's treasures resulted in great days spent with Arizona Family Estate Sales & Appraisals, LLC and my thrift shop booth, Retro Ranch Resale at Copper Country Antiques in Tucson.  The birth of "Retro" for you below, I truly miss it.

Add earning an International Society of Appraisers antique/personal property appraisal certification to the weekend estate sale and thrift shop action and you have a full blown HOBBY.  Even before the move to Vienna, I looked for information on antiques shopping in my new city and found The Antiques Diva on the internet.  What an interesting story of how a trailing spouse found her calling organizing antique shopping tours and started a business empire across Europe.  I started following her on both Facebook and through her blog and before long reached out to see if there was some way my appraisal certification and experience might fit with her business model.

Lucky for me, she extended an invitation I could not refuse, a guest blog opportunity on vintage and thrift shopping in Vienna.  Feeling like a cub investigative reporter on her first assignment, I set out to do my research while loving every minute of it.  The final product linked below.

http://antiquesdiva.com/antiques-diva/a-vienna-waltz

My "pie in the sky" dream is to launch an appraisal service for expats or shoppers who are shipping antiques and residential contents back to the United States.  Our personal experience with damaged items during our move and the utility of a professional appraisal during the insurance claim process tells me that this type of service is valuable.  The challenge will be turning the dream into a reality.  The Antiques Diva graciously provided both an opportunity and inspiration.  Thank You.

Feathering Our Nest

Today was big doings at our apartment.  The window coverings were installed.  With 17 foot ceilings, we are dealing with some pretty large windows.  We also have some pretty close neighbors.  The sheers that were on the windows contributed to a "Rear Window" effect in our apartment.  Mike and I are for sure NO Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly, but we did have our fair share of peek-a-boo moments.  Hence, the purchase of new window coverings.

The process was *insert sarcasm here* fairly straightforward, the owner of our building has a friend who has a Nähatelier, we had a design consultation and measurements, I could not make a decision, we consulted yet again, I decided to play faux HGTV interior decorator, I was invited to her shop to look at fabrics, I was tasked with taking the fabrics home and making a final decision for crying out loud.

So, here are the before and after pictures. We are now the proud owners of black-out shades, semi black-out shades, semi black-out curtains, one set of fancy sheers and a bunch of leftover sheers, some of which may or may not be put back up. The faux HGTV interior designer in me says we need to order a set of fancy sheers for under the bedroom curtains.  The owner of the Nähatelier agrees.
I don't think we will be moving for a while.
Or ordering an automobile.
Or eating.

My assumption is that when you are working with a Nähatelier, the bill just goes directly to the husband.  *insert nervous laugh here*

While the Cat's Away

You know the rest.  School is now in session and I am making more effort to expand my horizons beyond the Dorotheum auction and the grocery store (the sore subject of a future post).  I hope to spend time visiting places that I know the rest of the clan would have little interest in and patience for.

Although today was supposed to be about laundry, it ended up being about Linda McCartney.  A couple of weeks ago, I spied this sign in the park.  Interested mainly because I remembered Linda McCartney as a talented photographer who had a connection to Tucson, Arizona-she attended the
U of A and sadly succumbed to cancer at her Tucson ranch home in 1998.  I put the exhibit on my list of things to do.

This morning, I set off in search of Linda.  Google maps does not always send you on the scenic tour and this route under and along the train track was downright spooky, thank goodness for daylight.

The exhibit is actually at the Museum Hundertwasser which is a converted Thonet furniture factory and  part of Kunst Haus Wien, a series of locations celebrating the vision, life and work of Austrian artist/graphic designer/ecological activist, Friedensreich Hundertwasser (1928-2000).  Two floors are a retrospective exhibit of his career and I'm looking forward to learning more about his work.

The Linda McCartney exhibit covered the remaining two floors and contains some of her incredible rock portraiture from the 1960s.  She was the first female to have a photograph on the cover of Rolling Stone.  Check your 1968 collection, yard sales and estate sales-Linda's work resulted in this cover of Eric Clapton (taken from the internet).  eBay auctions are completing at about $110.00 for this one.

It was also an intimate exhibit, her personal photography of family, self, animals and social commentary was very moving.  A film featuring her 1968 photos of the Grateful Dead brought her subjects to life in time, space and movement.  Finally, there was about an hour long documentary rolling about her life and photography.  Filmed in NYC, the backdrop of the World Trade Center brought tears to the eyes of some in the audience, mine included.  Linda McCartney was only 56 when she died.

It was shortly (like a nanosecond) after I bought my ticket and discovered Hundertwasser that I realized for only 11 Euros more, I could buy an annual pass to return and spend more time with the Hundertwasser collection and any future temporary collections.  Hah!   When I nicely asked at the desk if it was possible to count my current ticket toward the purchase of an annual pass, I was dismissed as if I were a misbehaving child with a wave of the hand and a single word "history".  Luckily, I found a nearby spot to cool off and reflect on the beauty of Linda McCartney's life and talent.

Roman Holiday

Of course you've heard of Carnuntum, former home of Marcus Aurelius from 175-178 A.D. and site of the Emperor's Conference in 308 A.D. which established the freedom of religion (Christianity) in the Roman Empire.  Well, neither had we.  When we were invited to visit this Roman ruin, I thought we were headed to Italy and Jake asked "Do we need togas?"

We are now both educated and amazed that this treasure is only about 30 minutes from Vienna and continues to be a live archeological dig.   We spent our time at the Roman civilian city and the military encampment amphitheater.  The civilian city has been rebuilt on its original foundations using building techniques and interior designs faithful to the original.  Unfortunately, we missed the live re-enactment, complete with Gladiators and Legions.  We will pack our togas for a return visit next season.

Visitor Center

Villa Urbana

Portico

Kitchen-Real Food for Display (another visitor chowed down)

Roman Public Baths

Spa-Cool Bath

Spa-Hot Bath (it was toasty)

Amphitheater

Jake's Inner Gladiator Comes Out

The Dig Continues

After all of the history, we shopped until we dropped at a nearby mega outlet mall and had dinner at Steak House Parndorf.
A taste of Texas in Bundesland Niederosterreich.
Complete with American Flag.

Doors and Windows

A diversion of sorts, if you will indulge.  The path to Vienna for our family has been filled with the sound of doors closing and windows opening (and breaking).   Or perhaps it's a different sound....."The Sound of Music", a movie Jake watches repeatedly and will no doubt watch again this very weekend.  Put me on Team Fraulein Maria when she exits the Abbey toward her future and says, "When the Lord closes a door.....somewhere He opens a window."

There are times, however, one needs to take a moment and embrace the closed doors without hurrying to find the open window.  A stroll along our street is one of those times.

My head really needs to be on a swivel stick as I fully expect to bounce off a pole someday and I don't mean a long lost relative (insert family shout out here-come visit!).  The first time we walked from StadPark to Rennweg, all I could say was "the doors!....ooooh the doors....oh, look at those doors!"  Repeated so many times you would think Jim Morrison was taking a curtain call.  Doors both beautiful and closed, guarding the mystery inside.

Neo-Classical

Art Nouveau

Circles and Scrolls

Art Deco Combo

1912

Actual Door Closed-Window Open

1905 Dude Over Greek Key

Detailed Delight

Geometric

Shell Game

I Broke The Apartment

It was bound to happen because nothing is ever perfect, try as we might.  30 minutes until company arrived.  The rain storm had rolled through and the steamy weather gave way to refreshing evening breezes.  Diana Krall was jazzing up on the new wireless stereo speaker, the champagne was chilling along with the prosciutto and melon appetizers.  

Elegant Evening Ahead

I stopped snapping at the "help" (Mike and Jake) to clean faster and decided to take one last walk through to make sure we were ready for guests.  After all, this was our first small soiree in a new home and I was nervous, the apartment had to be perfect!  It was at that moment, I decided to open the living room windows for some fresh air.  It was also at that moment, a gale force wind blew through the room slamming both windows closed causing the exterior window to shatter.  Shards glass crashed to the street below, scattering along the sidewalk and on top of parked cars.  It was a scene from "The Omen" without the creepy music or decapitation.  

I frantically closed what was left, leaving the curtain flapping outside the apartment, my screaming causing the other windows to shake in their frames.  Mike rushed down to the street to make sure no kinders, puppies or Porsches were injured and began picking up the glass.  When he returned and asked what the bleep happened, I told him: "I broke the apartment."

Missing His Buddy

Pane Full to See

Shards Still on the Sill

Today, my reflection is on the perfect moments, instead of the perfect apartment.  The clink of the crystal instead of the crash glass.  The happy memory of cheers and conversation.  The relief that there were no injuries or damaged property below.  The prayer that the rental insurance adjusters have not seen The Omen.